It's unfair

I am going to have a heart attack soon. I am so unhappy now. I have never worried so much in my life. I have never felt so depressed. I really don't like this feeling. I hate to be hanging half air. I am really demoralized by it. Why? Why must it happen? Why can't I just come back and have peace? I shouldn't have taken it for granted. I hope the results will be out soon. I am really very anxious about it. Why must they drag the date so far away?

It's unfair! How can fate do this to me! Grandma was right. Why didn't I take note of it? This is the worst pre-birthday thingy ever. Usually I prefer hell first then heaven. But now I have no choice. I can only have heaven first and then hell. This is going to be a tough period for me. I hope it's a false alarm. pls let it be a false alarm. pls pls pls pls pls pls! What is the root of the problem???? I am so tired now. :( I regret, why didn't I listen to her advise. why why why! argh. I hate myself so much now!

My god if it comes true, how am I gonna tell them!?!?!?!? Fuck.

你不能说我没有爱过

说我没等过难过 我也想说

也许能重来我却还是沉默

你一直问我的心到底在不在

问我怎能不遗憾就丢失了爱

而我的泪 怎么就流下来

TBC...