U didn't express your feelings, HOW I KNOW WHAT U ARE THINKING?

Long title huh? Yeah. I just don't understand why some people expect me to know what or how they are feeling without telling me anything. Am I a psychic? I am not. In fact I am the opposite of psychic. I will not assume that you are sad unless u mentioned that you are sad. I will not know that I am rude unless you tell me that I am rude. Don't expect me to catch your small actions because I only catch some, depending on my mood.

I am also quite passive when it comes to talking with guys. Guys must talk to me first. If not usually I will not initiate it unless it's about work or juicy gossips or games or i am the organizer of certain events or they are my really good friends.

Also, I never say, doesn't mean that I don't want you to know. You didn't ask, how I know if you are interested to know. I dun like to bore people with things they are not interested with. I hate to see their, "I am not really interested but I will still entertain you by listening to you." face. So I assume everything about me is not interesting unless u ask and unless i think that it will be interesting to u. Occasionally, depending on my mood, if I feel really bottled up, I will initiate to talk to you about the issue. I am not a very expressive person. I will try to change that. But it's hard. because it depends on my mood. Okay I am a moody person. But don't worry. Usually u won't see me in bad mood. Because I will be alone if I am in bad mood.

So don't say that I didn't treat u as a friend. U didn't ask me, u didn't tell me your feelings. How I would I know that you want to know?

Don't criticize on the way I am and expect me to change. I will not change and I don't like to talk to people who are too opinionated. It works this way... you criticize me, I will think about it and then criticize you (ya.. u criticize me, my first reaction would be to criticize u back) and then think about it again and then if I think what you say is not reasonable to me, I will not change (which happens most of the time). I am open to criticism but too much is irritating. Example:

Me: I don't like him because he's attitude suck.

Un: You shouldn't hate him because of that he is also blablabla.

Me: Okay... but that's how I feel what.

Un: Okay la i can understand how you feel too. But blablabla.

Imagine... just imagine. If every 2 sentence I say, you reply with a "I think you shouldn't..." and every topic I talk to you, you have something to voice out about your opinions which oppose to me, I'd rather we not talk. If u are so strong with your opinions, then we have nothing to talk about because you can't accept my opinions and the way I am at all!!! Okay. SO DON'T TALK TO ME IF YOU WANNA CRITICIZE EVERY BIT OF ME. It fucking irritates me.

Okay I will reformat my dirty laptop now. It hasn't been reformatted for 2 and a half years. It's really clogged up now.

TBC...

Halloween

I Spent sooo much today... I bought a 23" Samsung LED, shop in robinson sales... and MORE. Oh My God.

I know it's only August and halloween is on October. I just suddenly thought of this idea. Maybe during Halloween, I should dress as Merly. If I meet Lyo there, LOVE WILL BLOSSOM. Awwwww so romantic! Just in case you don't know who they are, Lyo and Merly are the mascots for the first Youth Olympic Games in Singapore. Here:

In any case, I have 3 ideas of what to dressed up as if Merly fails.

1. Japanese ghost
2. Witch (Boringgggg)
3. Vampire (Easy and even more boriiinnngg)

Last year I did french maid and it wasn't bloody enough. Haha. I am not going to wear the maid suit anymore. I can sell it to you guys if you want. $15SGD will do =P It's my size.

TBC...

You've got alot of guts Oscar!

I just watched the most ridiculous fight scene ever in history...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t6c5fAPRAcg

I laughed so hard for the whole day that my jaw and my stomach abs hurt. Well most of the time I was trying not to laugh. When I was in the train, I was so bored that the scene of this video just pop into my mind. I just burst out laughing and then i try not to laugh.

Why I find it so humorous? It reminds me of this chinese composition that I wrote in my secondary school. It was almost as ridiculous as this. It was about a very bad car accident which I described it sooooo ridiculous that my teacher read it out to the whole class. My composition was almost as bloody and ridiculous as this video. But this video is even better! LOL.

Imagine this is how the scriptwriter of the movie wrote the script:

Final Fighting Scene

1. People crowd around and cheer for Rikki (I suppose he is the Rocky wannabe)
2. Rikki gonna fight with Oscar, a muscular guy with tattoos on shoulders...someone with lots of gut.
3. Oscar say some taunting stuff.
4. Oscar head towards Rikki with his knife, doing the slashing movement
5. Rikki slap his face and Oscar's eye ball fell (with lots of blood) onto the ground
6. Meanwhile Rikki was deeply slashed on the arm by Oscar's knife
7. Crows were waiting whole day for eyeball to reach the ground so that they can eat eyeball
8. Crows snatch to eat the eyeball the moment the eyeball reach the ground
9. Oscar scream with pain
10. Rikki start to use his mouth to bite his deep injury
11. Crowd murmuring what is he doing
12. Rikki pull out blood vessels and tie it up because it's a deep injury
13. Rikki does the I-AM-OKAY-HAAAAA! pose
14. Oscar was shocked but he stabbed himself @ the stomach anyway because he knew that he was losing
15. Rikki rush to Oscar and ask why he did that?
16. Oscar replied that they are gonna die together
17. Oscar use his hands and dig his stomach for his guts. Meanwhile Rikki just stand there in disbelief.
18. Oscar's coach cheered and say," You've got lots of gut Oscar!"
19. Oscar use his intestine and try to strangle Rikki with it
20. Rikki pushed him away and went like 5 feet away from him
21. Oscar still standing, but his intestines were miraculously back into his stomach
22. They make the final bash
23. Somehow Oscar flew and Rikki punched his face
24. Added some Computer Graphic to make the show look awesome
25. Oscar GG
26. END

LOL. Nice scriptwriter. Go youtube and search "Exploding Shark"... old batman show... it's also fucking funny. I just laugh the whole day for this. lol

TBC...

万年历

I don't care what your religion is but I am a taoist. We believe in reincarnation. We believe in cause and effect. What you do this life, will reflect on your next life and what you are experiencing this life is what a result of what you have done last life. So we believe in reciprocity. We respect all religion and their God(s)/Goddess(es).

Yesterday after the birthday party, cloud and I look through this red thick book. It's call the 万年历. You can calculate how much "Gold" you brought with you when you reincarnate base on your lunar calendar birth date and time. It was created during the Tang Dynasty. So we went to calculate ours. It was so funny because they usually give 4 very complicated ancient chinese sentences. Like this one for example: 此命推来福不轻 自立自成显门庭 从来富贵人亲近 使婢差奴过一生。

I interpreted it as something bad because the last sentence has 差. It means bad in chinese so interpreted that I will be a slave in my bad life. But what it meant was that I will have people following and serving me for the rest of my life. And my sister was laughing at my own interpretation. I must confess that my chinese has gone bad eversince I came back from exchange. I will polish it up. We also calculated wrongly because it depends if you are born in a country with daylight savings or not. It's a pretty detailed book with alot of chinese characters and one chinese phrase can describe many many things.

So I calculated mine. I brought 3 liang 6 qian when I reincarnated. So this is my given poem: 不须劳碌过平生，独自成家福不轻，早有福星常照命，任君行去百般成。

What does these 28 chinese character means? You can expand the 28 chinese characters to this:

　　少年多波折，老来安逸之命

　　

　　注解：此命为人灵机性巧，胸襟通达，志气高，少年勤学有功名之格，青年欠利，腹中

　　多谋，有礼有义，有才能，做事勤俭，一生福禄无亏，与人干事，反为不美，六亲骨肉可

　　靠，交朋友，四海春风，中限光耀门庭，见善不欺，逢恶不怕，事有始终，量能宽大，

　　义利分明，吉人天相，四海闻名，末限成家立业，安然到老，高楼大厦，妻宫无刑，子

　　息三人，只一子送终，寿元七十七，卒于春光中。

Complicated? hahahaha. I thought so too. Each of these phrases can be expanded even further. But in short, it means that I don't have to work too hard in my life (maybe as compared to some really hard working asians), if I start a business it will be awesome, destiny has already prepared some good fortune to protect me from some bad stuffs and whatever i do, it will be smooth sailing. Some good things to hear. :)

P.S. I realized that being busy is a good thing. It makes time goes faster.

TBC..

It's unfair

I am going to have a heart attack soon. I am so unhappy now. I have never worried so much in my life. I have never felt so depressed. I really don't like this feeling. I hate to be hanging half air. I am really demoralized by it. Why? Why must it happen? Why can't I just come back and have peace? I shouldn't have taken it for granted. I hope the results will be out soon. I am really very anxious about it. Why must they drag the date so far away?

It's unfair! How can fate do this to me! Grandma was right. Why didn't I take note of it? This is the worst pre-birthday thingy ever. Usually I prefer hell first then heaven. But now I have no choice. I can only have heaven first and then hell. This is going to be a tough period for me. I hope it's a false alarm. pls let it be a false alarm. pls pls pls pls pls pls! What is the root of the problem???? I am so tired now. :( I regret, why didn't I listen to her advise. why why why! argh. I hate myself so much now!

My god if it comes true, how am I gonna tell them!?!?!?!? Fuck.

你不能说我没有爱过

说我没等过难过 我也想说

也许能重来我却还是沉默

你一直问我的心到底在不在

问我怎能不遗憾就丢失了爱

而我的泪 怎么就流下来

TBC...

My life

Have been trying to settle down and trying to keep myself busy and I have succeeded in making myself feel fucking busy. Now that I have pretty much settled down, I will need to execute what I have reflected and decided to do when I was in Europe.

Yeah bet you must be thinking that I was in Europe playing around blablabla right? NO. I wasn't just playing. Not that I am saying that I didn't play. But as usual, work hard, play hard, sleep hard. Maybe play harder, work lesser haha. But travelling around does help me reflect on what had happened in the past and think through everything.

I met many many kinds of people abroad and they did broaden my view. When I told Sashka that when I was at budapest, I had a good chat with an ex-drug dealer and that guy told me that he was very happy to chat with me. He said that he haven't had a good laugh for a very long time. Am I that funny? I thought he was more entertaining. He could do some stick stunts without using his hands to touch the stick. It's complicated to describe. No penis involve. It was like using his hands, to control 2 sticks to control 1 stick. Sashka told me that I was daring and I am the type of person who talks to people and doesn't care about a person's social status. I don't know. I don't talk to beggars and people who free rides on social welfare systems... or any free riders. lol. That guy just look like a normal teenage boy. But after hearing his life story, I think he is more daring than me. And hearing what he did for his ex girlfriend, I thought how blind love can make one become. :/ I hope the next time I fall in love, I wouldn't be that blind.

I met a few entrepreneurs like club owners, non-profit organization chairman, fashion shop lady boss. They are really inspiring. Hearing their stories motivates me somehow. I can't really describe. I thought it was a good idea to motivate myself before school starts. I guess it helped alot. Because now I am back on "workaholic" mode. You know, the "Step out of the comfort zone" mode. Whatever it is, I hope I will change for a better.

Moving forward, I initially planned to go back to europe this year end to celebrate slovakian xmas with sashka and then visit other europe countries like the netherlands. But I guess maybe not this time because sashka is going on an exchange in sweden and if she goes back to slovakia, it will only be for a while. I want to meet my dorm mates again. But this year end, I am going ASIA. *wow how exciting* you know why? After learning Japanese for almost 5 years, I am finally going to JAPAN!!! Wee! and before going to Japan, probably Bali. 2 places which I have never been to!

Okay i am too tired to talk about my career choice and so on and so forth. So I will talk about it again.

P.S. I am not daring. I am just being open-minded. I am not being nice. I just don't want to waste my time and energy on being angry. Trust me, I can't be angry for long. I am sorry if I made cold remarks or/and was too direct that it hurt anyone. It's just my opinion... I don't want to appear too fake and I am not good with rephrasing my words such that it doesn't hurt. I am learning to buffer my "cold" remarks. Hope you will forgive me. And try to understand that I was brought up in such a family where people talk really direct plus with louder voice. I don't know which part of my life did I developed the "cold" attitude though. Even my parents thought that I was pretty cold hearted when I made some remarks a few years ago. I didn't know that I was talking in a "cold" and direct way until people tell me that because I thought it was normal.

TBC....

Wuzzup

Here's what's up.

I have been spending alot of money lately. I am gonna cut cost. I spent too much in going to attas place with my friends. I am totally broke.

Just one thing which I would love to nag about. WHEN WILL I MEET A RESPONSIBLE GUY. DAMN.

TBC..