lesbian

I came back and people keep saying that I look very different. Then got this guy told me that I feel different. I didn't let him touch me, why did he say that I feel different? I become more slimey? LOL

lol. How different? I have always been crappy and lame right? Maybe looks lah. But I gain a bit of weight ever since I came back, cut my hair.... that's pretty much it.

You know... there is the home sick syndrome and there is also the post exchange home sick syndrome.. Now I am back in Singapore, it is so difficult to adapt back the life here. I don't know why I didn't have homesick at all when I was doing my exchange, but now I have home sick for Moscow.

**Warning This section contains some lesbian thoughts which might be very disturbing**

Okay... I have thought through some time.. sometimes I can't help to think that maybe I am a lesbian. Partly because guys have given me nothing but disappointments and disappointments over time and also I have thought of this: If I am a guy, I would really love Sashka alot. She is such a nice girl. Too bad I am not a guy and I don't have blue eyes with blonde hair. I miss her so much. (I also miss other people). Sometimes before I go to bed, I will think about all the good times that we had. Why can't I meet a guy like Sashka's personality (Not saying that she is like a guy)? We have so much to talk about! I hope that she will find her target soon! I envy her so much... she gets to go for another semester of exchange and she offers me to go sweden to stay with her... I really wanna go!!! I miss her so much! But I have no more money left.

These few weeks, I have been hanging out with the exchange students... I went tioman with them. It was really fun... but it would be better if there's sashka there. I want her to see the coral reefs that I see!! It's so beautiful! It was a fun trip. I went with my russian buddy, and other 11 people. Big group, mega fun. I usually don't like to go out in such a big group... but this time it's exceptional.

**No more lesbian stuffs**

In the tioman trip, all these people I have only known them since August. There's:

1. Ying ying: Okay I know her earlier than august. But We click quite well.. She's out going and adventurous, just like me! I asked her to come along for the tioman trip.
2. Faith: She planned the trip. She's a very outgoing person and probably adventurous too.
3. Jane: My russian buddy. She is so sweet and cute! <3>
4. Anel: Faith's buddy from kazakstan. She's tall and has fair skin. I love her lip colour... it's rose red. Even the auntie in tioman praised her looks. She worries alot sometimes. But I can understand where she is coming from.
5. Suzanne: From canada, she's really good at frisbees and volleyball although she claims that she suck at it. I like her! She's always cheerful and fun to be with. Her jokes are really good.
6. Marillia: From Brazil. She doesn't really hang out with the girls. She is born in a rich... maybe really rich family. She's cool girl. But I feel that she's kinda arrogant because she doesn't really talk to the girls. But she's funny when she makes fun of people.
7. Steven: A mysterious french guy. He is very secretive and quiet.. sometimes he will disappear to nowhere and you can find him at one corner talking on the phone. Probably with the girlfriend. He stays alone so I suppose he needs alot of privacy. But on the subsequent outing, he became more fun. HE IS VERY TALL. And he has a deep voice with a heavy french accent. (and now i know how to imitate french accent because marillia made fun of it lol)
8. Ian: Another french guy... he is really close with marillia... they are housemates. I didn't get to talk to him very often. In fact I didn't really talk with the guys alot. But he always bites his nails. I feel like smacking his hands when he does it. lol
9. Marco: A Brazilian, also quite tall. He is a very chatty person. He talks to everyone.
10. Robin: Swedish guy.. he is so funny. He always see a chinese character and say that he recognize the character and explain what it means and ask if it's right. He has a twin brother in Sweden.
11. Joshua: From Singapore.. He is Ying's friend. I think he is a very cool guy. He's an entrepreneur and he can talk to anybody about anything somehow. Without him, the exchange students would have felt bored I guess.
12. Flo: A complicated background guy. He has egyptian blood, but he's a german and he can speak arabic because of his family. He is also very outgoing.

It was a good trip and they are planning to go thailand... maybe I will join them again :)

TBC...